I had a bloody horrible conversation with someone the other night...............It was not for publishing here but there were problems, ill feeling, regret and recrimination, there was resignation that most things were shit and several sweeping and fundamentally definite statements of pragmatism over realism that basically circled round the "fact" this person had achieved nothing of any merit with their life. It did not start there and the conversation took various routes around the , this is happening! that is happening! , this is going to happen! i can't do anything about it!! kinda yoke......We've all done it, we've all been there! once in our lives but we don't really want to keep going back there do we? do we?... but it made all of what i have written before more clear....that life is how you see it.........
I tried to rectify the most devastating of the statements "Why? Wot have i achieved in my life! tell me!?.............
Now i disagreed with this "fact" and tried to pin point or high light what appeared to be the main causes of concern for this person, i tried to offer comfort and care for them, i tried general positive reinforcement of the qualities of this person of which they have many. I tried to suggest ways of solving or overcoming some of these concerns, regrets....
and they laughed in my face, that scornful scoff! Ha! What do you know! Huh yeh Right.........
It crossed my mind then...Well why did you ask me then? if you are so sure?........Did they want me to agree with them then?...........Did they want me to say something i don't believe?.......Did they want me to say......well fuck all, your shit! you're right! you've done nothing! nothing! and what you have done you got wrong!! you are a complete waste of space and no one fucking loves you or cares!!!!...........Do they want me to be spiteful to them...........
It crossed my mind that that was what they wanted me to do...........and i couldn't for the life of me , work out why...........Moreover, i found it very hurtful that they scoffed at me and my way of thinking... I asked them whether they thought me happy clappy or something!?
I am not happy clappy or a moonie or anything like that, it has taken me a long time and hard trials, to find out what I am, I am a pacifist and believe in self rule, self respect, self control and self cause.....i am a realist and believe in cause and effect.....I think this person believes they have none of these things......when they do, they have the capacity to, if they care to use it...that is all...
and i will carry on being positive because i want to........i have been as positive as I can be, over some trully nasty things that have gone on in my life and i will continue to do so!..........cos the alternative..... is the above..........not on your life my friend. :-)
Gather 'round me, everybody
Gather 'round me while I'm preachin'
Feel a sermon comin' on me
The topic will be sin and that's what I'm ag'in'
If you wanna hear my story
The settle back and just sit tight
While I start reviewin'
The attitude of doin' right
You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
And latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
You've got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium's
Liable to walk upon the scene
To illustrate my last remark
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark
What did they do just when everything looked so dark?
(Man, they said "We'd better accentuate the positive")
("Eliminate the negative")
("And latch on to the affirmative")
Don't mess with Mister In-Between (No!)
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
(Ya got to spread joy up to the maximum)
(Bring gloom down to the minimum)
(Have faith or pandemonium's)
(Liable to walk upon the scene)
You got to ac (yes, yes) -cent-tchu-ate the positive
Eliminate (yes, yes) the negative
And latch (yes, yes) on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
No, don't mess with Mister In-Between
Look after yourselves my pretties! xxx