Betty's Christmas Speech 10/12/12 :-) x 

A pacifist sentiment for Christmas......:-) 

Peace and good will to all people..

 

Well It has been very much a year of two halves for Betty! The first six months full of work and play, the 2ND album Betty’s Flagrant Excuse! was finally birthed and there were gigs and parties and prestige and all sorts… Betty has just had word that the Christmas Song has been aired on Brighton's RadioReverb one world community show! , which is nice of 'em... some of Betty’s songs can now be downloaded as ringtones too would you believe!!!! Not only that but her credentials as a model, or poseur as she prefers, began taking off too!

And then on May 26th, she tried to get off the sunbed and it all went pear shaped!!

performing gigs especially has become inaccessible for her… she has graced, Voices @ The Boogaloo once this year, sung for a private party and gone to see The Outbursts. Otherwise a lot of sitting lying, rolling, kneeling and absolutely no dancing!!!!!! A shocker !! I know!!  There has been an ACME minnesota shed load of things to sort out and, letters to right, appointments to go to and things to be done… 

There is so much to be excited about Betty, isn’t there Betty, I should say so Betty!

and she will tell you all about it in the New Year, when she will again be able to perform!!! xxx …yet..lol. Everything’s just so perdy Friends and family to see, movies to watch, gigs to go to and sway the night away to, absolutely no dancing!!   Prezzies bought and wrapped, lights ‘n decorations up!

 

JTo all who know and love Betty, of which there are some, you will know that she has latterly come to the final stages of finding lasting contentment. In a year where things have changed quite significantly, she has had the support of good friends, amazing people, really, truly amazing, including you.

 

The anxieties she once had to a debilitating state have receded and she has far fewer nightmares and intrusive thoughts now, is less prone to cry or get over excited and although shit happens, she has so many good things in the forefront of her mind these days, it get’s easier and easier as time passes.

 

JI have had many times this year, where I have thought, thunk, and I have used Facebook often to put my questions to the universe, the wide world and my deeply flummoxed friends. Betty’s blogs have been seldom and of a serious nature, she has not written about much at all! Although she has done stuff/ things when possible

 

And so at this time of year our thoughts turn to peace. As it happens Betty has been a pacifist from an early age, her mum and step mum were activists in CND and she attended Greenham Common as a 10 year old and has believed in peaceful resolution in a global way since then.

 

I would not deny and stand by the fact, that Betty’s experiences of abuse have firmly shaped and strengthened those views and principles in life. Those people who have used emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, verbal abuse, physical abuse, gaslighting, etc in a bid to gain whatever it was they wanted to gain from her, will not be forgotten, forgiven or be allowed to do it again. However, this does not mean that she did not genuinely wish to resolve a way to co exist with those people. The sadness has been that they never felt the same and never will. .. shrug x

 

Betty has read many texts on  emotional blackmail in relation to domestic abuse, spousal abuse, bullying, abuse in general...she read them to help her understand the abuse she has received from different people throughout her life and to help her in her continuing struggle to avoid being an abuser herself but I believe the passages below in particular, hold key elements that parallel all aspects of community conflicts, national conflicts and global conflicts. 

……………….

 

“If a person genuinely wants to resolve a conflict or difference, they will talk openly about the conflict with you; they will inquire about your feelings and concerns; explore why you are resisting what they are doing/want/say and except responsibility for their part in the conflict”.

“ If however someone’s primary goal is to win, they will try to control you; ignore your protests; insist that their character and motives are superior to yours and avoid taking personal responsibility for their part in the conflict.”

 

……………….

 

Now Betty is fully aware that gender conflict, racial conflict, religious conflict, territorial conflict, cannot be resolved merely by talking and the inclusion of emotional reaction in any conflict resolution makes it more difficult to think rationally. To be an effective peace envoy or mediator, pacifist, a person requires a certain ammount of emotional detachment that seems at odds with the whole hippy dippy thing that the words peace and love often evoke.

 

As Betty has oft said, being a pacifist doesn’t mean you don’t get bloody angry or want to shout f**king obscenities, cry, scream, wail about the horrible things that happen. And she bloody well has as a necessary part of healing…. The thing about pacifism is realising that although it is not going to solve anything, it is necessary…pacifists do also need to laugh be silly, sarcastic, frivolous, rude, though ay.J … The thing about pacifism is making a change, accommodating differences of need and want without resorting to aggression and threats.

I believe there is a common misunderstanding between covert–aggressive behaviour (which is quite, quite frustrating) passive-aggressive behaviour (which is most, most, demoralising) and passive resistance (which is very, very empowering).

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive–aggressive_behavior

 

Betty is also wholly aware people have choices and that people should not be made to do anything, she recognises people do not have to live as she or I might expect or wish. As do any democratic country or people but she believes pacifism is a positive choice for every person in the world and one that should be encouraged and promoted J she believes it is part of her human rights to have her views respected and that anyone who uses threat of harm, self harm or any type of bargaining tool, with her they will not be part of her life for long. … , (if anyone says she must not talk or she will lose their friendship, it is a red rag to a bull! ) Everyone knows Betty has to talk, she does talk the hind legs offa donkey ay.. , Betty has no secrets, keeps no secrets and tells no lies…she will not be quiet..Be anything for anyone…in the past she has been threatened, hurt and degraded, told quite literally to f**k off!!! for that very thing.  Betty is an open book and if you have something to hide, she will sniff it out….and probably ask you about it!!!  So its your choice whether to tell her or not ..She is everso good at writing letters…..yours “disappointed of The Weald”. Betty respects honesty, it is by far the best policy and conviction, she bloody loves a proud and determined person, a positive person…All Betty’s boyfriends and girlfriends are proud , honest, brave and straightforward…;-) Betty has one particular boyfriend, Matthew J sHAW photographers, who is quite, quite proud of himself, chuffed with himself actually, so much so, that he get’s her special interest and attention, he is bloody lovely .lol :-)

 

The underlying principle of pacifism is respect for life. Most people are aware of it in global conflict, meaning, the abstinence from killing, using weaponry, violence, something that I think you would agree applies seamlessly to domestic relationships, family relationships and relationships of all kinds as well. :-)

 

The part of the principle that applies to both domestic and global situations that many people don’t realise, see or indeed use is that which the passage above explains. All you have to do is change the word “person”, “someone” to stranger, ,colleague, friend, husband or wife, girlfriend or boyfriend, mother, father, sibling; to boss, teacher, cleric, politician, soldier or group of any of these…and it still makes sense my dears , does it not? :-) 

Before I go,  Betty would like to leave you with this :-) it's drawing, caricature of her performing in September, she is really quite chuffed, no one's ever drawn a picture of her before its brill !!

IMG 0332


 

Now we is away off for a marvellous time in the bosom of Christmas, with tinsel galore :-)

 

Ding dong merrily my pretties and see you in the bright New Year! J xxxxx

 

 

 


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